I’m Back!!!

I know, you thought you were rid of me for good.  But fear not, I am back - with a brand new laptop screen that actually works!  And even better, paid for by American Express instead of me (thank you credit card extended warranty program)!

A lot of things happened while my laptop was in the shop.  The break from the computer, while at times irritating (particularly when attempting to pay bills on my iPhone), was also quite refreshing.  I didn’t have this distraction sitting right there.  I started running more, reading more, and in general doing non-Internet things.  And that has been pretty nice.

I also managed to find time to go on a kick-ass vacation/second honeymoon to Florida for a week and a half in February with my husband.  Talk about relaxing . . . and warm . . . all things we don’t get enough of at home!  I have a lot of pictures to share with my friends and family, and will work on getting them edited and onto the blog over the next few weeks.

I have to say, the break from blogging was nice too.  When people tell me they find certain stories funny and say how much they enjoyed them, I feel pressured to come up with something else funny to write about.  And sometimes that is hard.  Unfortunately, my life is not always fun and games (wouldn’t that be nice).  Sometimes I just want to write about something serious, to vent or de-stress, or just share an opinion, but I worry that people don’t want to hear or read that so I just don’t blog at all.  And then I feel guilty when my friends and family comment on how I haven’t been blogging much.  I have to admit that it was nice having a break from that.

That being said, I am back, ready to blog, and ready to share some stories.  And opinions, when I feel like it and can find the right words.  First up will be the vacation pictures.  Stay tuned!

22 Days of Thanks

By now, we have all seen the “Days of Thanks” posts going around on Facebook.  I wanted to participate, but posting a daily status update on Facebook is a long stretch for me.  I felt like it was much more doable for me to write down my “thanks” each day and compile a list.  So, here you go – 22 days of thanks, Megan-style.

1.  I am thankful to my parents for letting me be myself, and accepting me and loving me for who I am.

2.  I am thankful for a wonderful husband who tells me every day that he loves me.

3.  I am thankful that I can truthfully say I want for nothing.  I have a loving family, a great job, a roof over my head, food in my cupboards, and clothes in my closet.  I am truly lucky.

4.  I am thankful for the beautiful colors of fall leaves, and that I live in a state full of trees.

5.  I am thankful for Doug Martin.  I am sorry I doubted your abilities.

6.  I am thankful for weekends.  Enough said.

7.  I am thankful for parents who are always there for me, always listen, and always answer the phone.  Even when it is just to answer my stupid questions about how long something can stay in my fridge before it is no longer safe to eat.  They are reliable and constant, and never let me down.

8.  I am thankful for open minds and open hearts.

9. I am thankful for a husband who makes me laugh, and who always seems to know when I need a laugh (even before I do!).

10.  I am thankful for home cooked meals.

11.  I am thankful that I can run, no matter how slow it may be.

12.  I am thankful for my memories.  Memories are something we make, but they are also something that we take for granted.  For Alzheimer or dementia patients, a lifetime of memories can be lost in an instant.  This type of memory loss is not something that I or anyone else can control, but I can give thanks and appreciate my memories for as long as God blesses me with them.

13.  I am thankful for quiet days at work.  It feels nice to get caught up and get things done!

14.  I am thankful for Nick at Night.  Nothing more relaxing than an episode of Full House!

15.  I am thankful for all the beauty that can be found in the smallest of things.

16.  I am thankful for my siblings, and the days when we get to catch up.

17.  I am thankful for old friends.  Also, one of my old friends and I are thankful that Kristen Stewart’s acting abilities seem to have slightly improved between the first and last installments of Twilight.

18.  I am thankful that I have a husband who willingly helps me with housework.

19.  I am thankful for rain.  I love it!  I must remind myself of this on the days when the rain forces me to drive home in pitch black monsoon weather.

20.  I am thankful for all of the opportunities I have been given in my life, and to those who have given opportunities to me.

21.  I am thankful for people who stand up for what is right and support those who need it.

22.  I am thankful that I can spend Thanksgiving with people that I love.

And now, I better get moving, because it is after 9 AM and I still haven’t started cooking my parts of this Thanksgiving meal.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, enjoy the football and shopping (GO PATRIOTS!), and drive safely.

Discontinued

We’ve all been there.  We’ve all had that favorite product, the one we were so reliant on that we never even thought about what we would do without it.  And then comes the day (and it’s always a day when we are especially in need of said favorite product), when a retail sales representative utters those terrible words: “I’m sorry, but that product has been discontinued.”  And a little voice inside us screams, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Every failed product has one thing in common – there weren’t enough customers buying it.  Another thing they seem to have in common is that often, I am one of the few consumers who DID buy the failed product.

My hair seems to be the primary victim of product failure.  I have very thick, wavy, opinionated, and temperamental hair.  It responds very poorly to most products (in addition to yelling and cursing).  Whenever I happen to trip across a product that my hair actually LIKES, I stick with it.  The first product to go was my Sunsilk Curl Crème.  That was some pretty amazing stuff.  When it was discontinued, my hair and I went through a three month rough patch until I managed to trip across a gel that seemed to work reasonably well.  But that was NOTHING compared to what happened when my Herbal Essences leave-in conditioner was discontinued.

The loss of my leave-in conditioner (which I used daily, no matter what) sent my hair into a tailspin of craziness.  I was desperate.  At first, I thought Target must just be out, because they are always out of everything that I need.  So I went to Walmart.  And Kmart.  And Safeway.  And Fred Meyer.  And every other Target within a 50 mile radius.  I tried online shopping – no luck.  At this point, I would have gladly paid $20 for a single bottle.  Finally, my desperation drove me to the Herbal Essences website, where I found that the No-Frizz Leave In Crème Conditioner was no longer part of their product line.  Being me, I e-mailed customer service asking if perhaps they had any stock left that they would be willing to sell to me.  I even offered to buy a case full, if that was an option.  Their response was to send me a coupon for Garnier Fructis.

Sadly, the loss of my beloved hair products was a sign of things to come.  Since then, I have been informed by Macy’s that they no longer carry my favorite jeans (and an extensive internet search confirmed that no one else carries them any more, either).  I have become very fond of two pomegranate flavored beverages, neither of which lasted more than six months in stores.  And my beloved Excedrin has been pulled from shelves, so with every headache I have had to debate whether or not it is severe enough to warrant one my last few precious Excedrin pills.

But the icing on the cake came the other day, when I walked into Victoria’s Secret with money to burn, and every intention of leaving with some new (and nearly full-price) bras.  “Excuse me,” I said to a sales associate, “Can you tell me where to find the Biofit Demi?”

The sales associate said, “We no longer carry that style,” and went back to folding underwear (clearly not noticing that I was going into a state of shock and on the verge of hyperventilating).  I only wear one style of bra, and this is it.  I don’t really know if I can adequately put into words how distressed I was at this news.

“Uh, excuse me.  But what?  Do you have them online?” I was feeling rather panicky.  Long story short, the salesgirl was highly unknowledgeable about their online offerings.  She was also highly unknowledgeable when I asked if they carried a similar bra that I might find acceptable.

Needless to say, all I left with was a free pair of underwear, but at checkout I was still upset enough that when the checkout girl asked if I found everything okay, I complained, “No, you discontinued my bra.”  Luckily, the checkout girl was slightly more knowledgeable about her company and told me that they did discontinue it, but that I should come back in two weeks because they would be bringing the remaining discontinued Biofit Demis back for the semi-annual sale, and in the meantime they also still had some online.

So, I hope no one was expecting extravagant Christmas presents this year.  Because in two weeks, I plan to spend all my extra money stocking up on as many bras as I can get my hands on.

Adventures In Dry Cleaning

Most people who know me personally know that I am a bit of an airhead.  I am the queen/leading expert on doing dumb things and asking stupid questions.  This personality flaw seems to be a great source of entertainment to my husband, family, and friends; so rather than fighting it, I have just accepted it (also, fighting it doesn’t really seem to do me any good).  But every so often, one of them will “pull a Megan”, and I rather enjoy it when they do.

While doing laundry on Sunday night, I had an enlightening and amusing conversation with Nathan.  He is a very helpful husband, and often offers to throw in a load of laundry or run some clothes through the dryer for me.  More recently, he has even volunteered to run cycles of my dry clean only clothes that I clean at home with Dryel.

So I am throwing a load of laundry into the washing machine on Sunday, and Nathan is standing next to me because we were having a conversation about something.  I had a couple hand-wash tops, so I grabbed my mesh Tide hand-wash delicates bag from next to the washing machine and tossed the tops into it, zipped it up, and threw it in the washing machine.

Nathan gave me a funny look.  “You are putting that bag in the washing machine?  Then what’s that other bag for?”  He pointed at a second smaller bag next the washing machine, which is another mesh Tide bag made specifically for bras.

I replied, “Yes, this goes in the washing machine.  This one is for clothes that are hand-wash only.  The other one goes in the washing machine too, but it is only for bras.”  I wasn’t surprised that he was confused, because I always run the hand-wash clothes myself.

Nathan still looked confused.  “Then what do the Dryel clothes go into?”

“They go in the big bag above the dryer . . .” (cue light bulb going off in my head).  “Wait, have you been dry cleaning my clothes in THIS bag?” 

The answer, as it turns out, was yes. 

I can’t be too upset about it, because my clothes don’t seem to have gotten damaged in any way (although I am not sure how clean they actually may have gotten).  Frankly, I am more impressed that he managed to fit three pairs of pants, a blouse, and sweater into a little mesh bag that was designed to hold 1-2 tops maximum.  And he was only trying to help me.  Believe me, I am grateful that I am lucky enough to have a husband who actually offers to help with the laundry.

But it still made for a good laugh.

After we finished laughing about it, Nathan got an apprehensive look on his face.  “You’re going to blog about this, aren’t you?”

Yes.  Yes, I am.

Monday Laugh

I had quite the laugh about these signs posted in my dad’s classroom window this weekend.

Does anyone else see the irony?

On the other hand, my dad draws a pretty good orange.

Total (Immune) System Failure

I have come to the conclusion that my body is a breeding ground for the common cold.

Somehow, I managed to avoid the gazillion nasty flu bugs that have been circulating this winter, only to be knocked flat on my butt by a pesky little (ha!) cold that came on Saturday out of the blue.

I consider myself a relatively healthy person.  I exercise regularly (okay fine – regularly enough), I don’t smoke, and I don’t eat fast food.  I take a multi-vitamin every single day and I wear sunscreen.  I don’t even get sick very often.  TMI alert, but I have not thrown up in nearly 11 years, and I think that is pretty good track record.  My body protects me relatively well – until it meets a cold virus.

I envision the journey of a cold virus into my body to be something akin to going on a vacation to a five star resort, complete with free spa passes and complimentary room service.  The cold germs enter my system, and are immediately taken to meet and greet with my white blood cells.  “Wow,” my white blood cells must say, “You are so glamorous and wonderful.  We bow down to you, Mr. Germ!  Now, let’s show you where all our secret hiding spots for a vacationing germ to hide from the paparazzi are.”

You may think I exaggerate, but my husband will assure you that I do not.  The common cold takes a vacation in my body 2-3 times a year, on average.  The problem is, a cold that lasts three days with a normal person lasts three weeks with me.  Normal people go to work and go about their daily lives with colds.  I, however, spent my first full weekend without plans in who-knows-how-long laid up on my couch, running a fever and hacking up a lung.  I was too tired and in too much pain to read or even watch TV.  Do you know how BORING that is?  And really, I actually did have big plans for my Weekend of Nothing prior to the Supergerm.

Nathan was fantastic and took excellent care of me.  Which was good, because I complain a lot when I am sick.  I am an incredibly big baby when I don’t feel well.  He thought a hot toddy would help Sunday afternoon.  I had never had one before, but I was willing to try anything.  It did help, in as much that it soothed my throat and quieted my cough enough to knock me out for a solid few hours.  But then I woke up.  I slept so much Sunday that I could not sleep Sunday night, outside of some delirious feverish sleep.  This is one of those weeks where I could not miss work, so Nathan woke me up for work Monday morning. 

He went to make me coffee while I attempted to wake up, and when he came back upstairs, my feverish self was singing the “This Little Piggy Went To Market” song to my fingers, and informed him that I found it somewhat disturbing and slightly carnivorous that a pig would eat roast beef (this after I realized that the third pig has roast beef – at first I was singing that the pig had root beer).  I think he thought I had lost my mind. 

Somehow, I managed to get dressed for work, which was a bit of a miracle in itself (I made up another song to help me get dressed, which involved singing, “My shoes are on my feet,” over and over.  It would appear that running a fever makes me a little loopy.)  An even bigger miracle was that I managed to drive an hour to work and make it there in one piece.  Once at work, a thermometer verified that I was indeed running a fever, and some Tylenol managed to bring my temperature and my brain back down to earth.

Until I got home that night.  At which point I informed Nathan that I thought my head was like planet Earth.  He just looked at me (probably wondering where this was going).  I elaborated.  “With Earth, you drill to the center and you find a core of lava. With my head, you drill to the center and I bet you would find a core of mucus.”

My husband’s answer?  “Don’t you think they might find your brain?”  Pffft.  I drove a half an hour on the freeway in fourth gear that morning before I even noticed.  I think we all know the answer to THAT question.

It is now Tuesday, and thankfully my fever and crazy delirious comments seem to have gone away (Ha! Mostly.), but the hacking cough and suffocating congestion remain.  I am really hoping the vacationing germs suffer some sort of sunburn and have to go home early, although that seems highly unlikely considering it snowed here today.  Perhaps the pool at the resort will break and they will have to seek shelter elsewhere.  Because I have now developed a large painful lump on my jawline, which is either an angry lymph node working double time, or the beginning of the biggest underground zit in the history of mankind.  And either of those options (are you listening, slacker immune system)?  Are just not cool.

Almost Famous

Yesterday morning, I received an e-mail that changed my life.  Seriously.

The e-mail was from the New England Patriots.  Seriously.

The e-mail stated that with my permission, they would like to post my super bowl cookies to their OFFICIAL PINTEREST PAGE.  SERIOUSLY!!!!!

How many ways can a girl say, “YES!!!!!”? (For the record, my dad and husband think I should have said, “Yes, IF I also get to meet Tom.”) (Also for the record – I would totally settle for a trip to Foxborough and tickets to a game.  Just saying.  You never know who may be reading this.)

I had originally e-mailed this picture of my cookies to the Patriots shortly after the Super Bowl in February, with the far fetched hope that someday, it might make one of the Facebook fan albums:

I honestly expected nothing to ever come of it.  But a few days later, I got a reply back from the Patriots that they loved my cookies and would definitely keep the picture on file.  I was so stoked that they even bothered to write me back.  That reply alone was enough to make my year!  So I was shocked to hear from them again yesterday, and over the moon to hear that I can now follow them on Pinterest as well as Facebook! 

By the time I got home from work that night, my cookies had been pinned.  So far it has two repins – me and my mom!  But I hope all that will change when they have finished setting up their Pinterest page and make it public on Facebook.  In the meantime, visit the pin of my cookies here.  And while you are there, check out the rest of their boards!  They have some rather awesome Patriots-themed wedding ideas, some super-cute Patriots baby ideas, and some flat out fantastic ideas for Patriots décor in your home (Hello, toaster that imprints the Patriot logo on my toast.  Where have you been all my life?).

A Laugh For The Middle of a Looooooong Week

Once in a while, I have one of those weeks where it seems like it will never end.  Thanks to all this wacky weather here in the Pacific NW, it is shaping up to be one long work week.  At times like this, we could all use a laugh.

So, enjoy the following, courtesy of Eli at the It Just Gets Stranger blog:

Part 1: http://itjustgetsstranger.blogspot.com/2011/12/snuggie-texts.html

Part 2: http://itjustgetsstranger.blogspot.com/2011/12/snuggie-texts-part-ii.html

Hopefully, his story makes you laugh (and even better, keeps you laughing all the way to Friday).  In case you wonder afterwards – yes, my parents did teach me that it is not nice to laugh at the expense of others.  However, I must not be a very nice person, because I thought his story was freaking hilarious. 

Driving Miss Megan

A demonstration of superior communication skills by two newlyweds.

Scene: 9 PM last night, in Nathan’s car, driving around downtown on our way to get dinner.

Nathan: “American Dream Pizza” (very random comment since this is not where we are going)

Megan: "That’s where the president ate when he came here for his campaign.” (looking around out the window to see where American Dream Pizza is at)

N: “Yeah, by your sister’s apartment.”

M: (Now very confused as cannot see American Dream Pizza anywhere, and we are nowhere near my sister’s apartment) “What? Why did you say ‘American Dream Pizza’?

N: (Clearly also confused) “Because that’s where the President ate.”

M: “No, before that.  Why did you say ‘American Dream Pizza’ back there?”

N: “Oh, that?  Because there was a car that said American Dream Pizza back there.  And now you just made me run a red light! This is what happens when you distract me!”

For the record, I still don’t see how this is my fault.  But I also did not notice the red light, so I guess I can’t argue.