The Intervention Season

Ah, December.  The season to be holly, jolly, merry, and eat your body weight in peanut brittle.  Does it get any better than December?  I think not.  Certain members of my family have insinuated that I have a Christmas obsession.  I like to think of it more as a deep love and obvious talent for all things sparkly, twinkly, and shiny.  Call it what you wish.  However, every once in a blue moon, something happens that makes me doubt myself and wonder if I have, in fact, gone Clark Griswold meets Buddy the Elf meets Kevin McAlister.

You might have a Christmas problem if . . .

The fact that every third song on your Pandora playlist is a different version of “Silver Bells” doesn’t annoy you, but instead brings you indescribable joy.

You go to Target to buy a bag of candy cane flavored Hershey’s Kisses.  You leave Target with eight bags of various Christmas candies.

You spend two solid hours unsuccessfully trying to identify songs from your parents’ 1992 Christmas mix tape on Shazam.

Upon reviewing your credit card statement the week after Thanksgiving, you see that you placed six Amazon orders between Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday, and this seems completely reasonable to you. 

Of half of these orders, you can’t seem to remember what items you may have purchased.

Upon realizing this, you think, “Yay!  It’ll be so much fun to be surprised when the mailman comes!”

Under the guise of admiration, you scope out your neighbors’ outdoor light displays, then demand your husband help you to create a display to “beat” them all.

Seeing a light up snowman displayed on your neighbor’s roof sends you into an immediate, frantic rush to assemble a light up tree and Santa on your front porch.

You proudly declare that you have finished your Christmas shopping before the first of December.  And then continue to buy presents like an out of control Becky Bloomwood.  (Two points for you if you know who Becky Bloomwood is!)

You begin quoting Clark Griswold on a daily basis, at every opportunity.

Your heart grows three sizes and you start actually answering the front door when someone knocks.

You keep an ever growing collection of non-working Christmas lights.  You never know when you might need a spare bulb.

Your favorite Thanksgiving tradition is Christmas decoration inventory.

While driving around looking at Christmas lights, you become so distracted by a light up Santa and sleigh on someone’s roof that you blow straight through a stop sign.  And then try to blame it on your wife.

* * *

Problem?  What problem?  Yes, I have a special sort of love for December and Christmas.  But I don’t think that is a bad thing.  I just don’t understand those people who say they feel stressed out at this time of the year.  I honestly never feel happier or more relaxed than I do at Christmas.  I feel full of energy and love and excitement and I just want to share it with everyone!  As a wise elf once said, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”  So I will keep playing my Christmas carols, baking my cookies, and eating all the Kit Kats out of the candy jar.  Because that’s how you do Christmas!


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