As of Friday, I am now a licensed driver, a registered voter, and a Costco member!
Yes, I was already all of these things. But under my MAIDEN name. Now the married me is officially ready to get pulled over, vote in May, and buy loads of unnecessary but wonderful products at my local warehouse. (Okay fine, maybe just the last two. I have never been pulled over and would like to keep it that way.)
When I start my new job (exactly one week from Monday – !!!!!), I will no longer have every Friday off work to take care of all of the little things. So yesterday (after getting up at the crack of dawn to put in five hours at work in the morning), I decided to use my afternoon wisely and get some of the name change errands checked off my list. I had been procrastinating this for a variety of reasons, primarily because I thought I had to first get my name changed with Social Security before dealing with the DMV (turns out you don’t).
My experience with the Social Security office last month was so much more pleasant than I would have expected. I had imagined long lines, weird people, and a dark stuffy waiting room, but the Social Security office here was clean, bright, and totally empty except for me. My number was called as soon as I took a ticket. They are strangely paranoid about their safety over there at Social Security. Is the Social Security office a big target for criminals? While I was taking a ticket, a security guard materialized out of nowhere, demanding to search my purse. (Good luck, lady. I spent ten minutes the other day just trying to find my cell phone in there, but have at it.) They also feel the need to protect their workers from the general public behind a gigantic window of plastic (or perhaps bullet-proof glass, who really knows). The desk stretches out about three feet on either side of this protective barrier, so you basically end up having to SHOUT to the robot of a worker on the other side. But whatever. It took a grand total of 6 minutes from the time I entered the building to the time that I left, so I am not complaining.
Once I had my Social Security card, I really had nothing stopping me from taking care of business at the DMV, except for the fear that I would take a bad picture. You see, I renewed my license last summer and (shockingly) took a decent picture when doing so. I was very hesitant to give that up. I am not a very photogenic individual on a good day, and the gigantic zit that took up residence on my chin two weeks ago is not doing me any favors. But as I said earlier, I was running out of spare days to get my new license, and I also wanted to be able to vote this spring under my new name. So yesterday, I piled on a face full of makeup, and Zitty and I headed over to the DMV.
I have to give props to the DMV – it only took 15 minutes from start to finish. But seriously, they need to invest in some air fresheners in that place. (I have paid them over $150 in fees for licenses and vehicle registrations in the last year, so I think it’s safe to say that they can afford to spring for some Febreze). And in true DMV form, they replaced my perfectly acceptable license picture with an unflattering, psychotic-looking picture that I will now be stuck with for the next six and a half years:
My always supportive husband suggested that maybe the official color version will be better. HA! Maybe in a fantasy world, but not in this one.
On the plus side? At least you can’t see Zitty.